Reflections and Revelations
by cait83
Summary: This is my take of what Mick is thinking at the end of FTP
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: You recognise it then I probably don't own it. I'm just borrowing Mick…

Author note: This is my take on what Mick was thinking as FTP ends…

Rated R just to be safe (basically, I'd rather rate it too high than too low)

Please leave comments, it's the only food my muses accept…

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He stood there, staring out over the city with unseeing eyes. Thoughts racing through his mind. Everything that had happened over the last few days. If he was honest with himself he hadn't felt this confused since around the time he was turned when everything was new. Everything was once again new.

Becoming human again had been everything he wanted for so long and now here he was. A vampire once more. For some strange reason he didn't feel so bad about that. This had him a little confused. He'd felt bad about being a vampire for so long. He'd wanted to be anything but ever since Coraline turned him against his will.

Maybe that was why it was different this time. He had wanted this. He had actually asked to be turned. Almost had to beg Josef to do it before he consented. He had wanted to be a vampire since it meant he could save Beth. He couldn't loose Beth. Not now. Not when he knew exactly how much she meant to him. He was in love with her. In love in a way he had never been with Coraline.

That in and of itself was a confusing concept. He had always been convinced that Coraline was his one true love, that he would never find anyone else. Convinced he, as a vampire, a monster, didn't deserve happiness and love. Now here he was. Love and happiness within his grasp and what did he do? Tell her it was too dangerous.

He growled and ran his fingers through his hair in frustration. He wanted her. More than he had ever wanted anyone before. But he was afraid. It had been so long since he'd bitten a human. Too long since he'd managed to make the bite pleasurable for the many freshies he'd fed on during Josef's many wild parties.

That was another thing. Ever since he'd bitten her in the desert he'd had a craving to bite her again. Bite a human. The blood he got from the morgue wasn't satisfying his needs anymore. Now with being a vampire again, the craving had increased. As if feeding on Josef had made him need the willing blood of a freshie even more than before. He would have to talk to Josef about that one of these days.

Being turned by his best friend, his brother, had been a strange experience. The more Mick thought about it, the more he suspected that his own torment over being a vampire had vanished for three distinct reasons. Number one, he had been the one asking for it this time. He had walked into this with open eyes, known what he was getting himself into and accepting the consequences. Number two, Josef's reluctance at turning him, knowing how much Mick had hated it in the past, had somehow made it easier. That reluctance along with Josef's own love and comfort with being a vampire had somehow transcended Mick's usual bad conscience. Number three, Beth. Beth and her acceptance of what and who he was. He knew now, without a doubt, that she wanted him. To her it didn't matter if he was a vampire or a human as long as they were together.

She didn't care about that. All she cared about was that he was happy and that they were together. The realisation made him sit down. Maybe she and Josef were right. He wasn't afraid she would get hurt. He was afraid he would if she ever decided the vampire thing was too much. He had bitten her and he knew she couldn't have enjoyed it. He had been too out of it to even attempt making it pleasurable. What would she think of being bitten again?

Before they did anything, he had to find out. Had to talk to her. Really talk this time. That's when he knew. He wanted to try. He wanted them to move forward. He wanted her. The rest didn't matter. All that mattered was that they had each other. The rest would be solved somehow.

Mick smiled then and jumped down. He checked the time. It was much too late to call her now. He would talk to her tomorrow after his breakfast meeting with his new client. He smiled again and walked down from the roof to his apartment, the light of dawn on the horizon.


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: You recognise it then I probably don't own it. I'm just borrowing Mick and Beth…

Author note: As per request… here is the continuation of "Reflections..." I hope you guys like it…

Rated R just to be safe (basically, I'd rather rate it too high than too low)

Please leave comments, it's the only food my muses accept…

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He opened his eyes and stared up at the freezer lid and waited for his body to wake up fully before he opened the freezer and got out. While he lay there, feeling the hunger in his gut, he thought about the day ahead of him. He had a new client he was meeting. Some rather high profile actress whose case he wasn't even sure he was going to take. But, he might as well take the meeting. Get all the information before he made his decision.

He had always hated seeing women suffer. Josef called it his hero complex. Mick believed it was his mothers doing. The way she had raised him had meant it was ingrained in him to treat women with respect and, if possible, help them when they needed him. Something Beth seemed to both enjoy and find incredibly irritating.

"Beth", he said her name out loud and sat up, hitting his forehead on the freezer lid.

"Shit!" he rubbed his forehead and cursed under his breath as he hit the latch for the lid and it opened. All the thoughts he'd had the night before spun around in his head at a high speed ending at one shining thought. He wanted to try. He wanted to give their growing relationship a chance.

He jumped out of his freezer and went for his phone. Grabbing it he quickly searched out her phone number and before he had a moment to think of a reason not to, he hit call. He started pacing his freezer room as he waited for her to pick up. What if she didn't want to talk? What if she'd had second thoughts and decided this was too much after all?

"Beth Turner", her efficient voice brought him out of his thoughts. She sounded a little tired and he worried that he'd woken her up. Maybe he should've waited until he was dressed and ready for the day before he called? Maybe he should've checked the time first?

"Hello?" her voice called out, sounding confused this time.

"Beth? It's Mick" he said, and swallowed around the nervous lump in his throat.

"Mick? Is everything alright?" he smiled as he heard the happiness in her voice at hearing his voice, though she hid it well.

"Everything is fine Beth. I just… I wanted to talk to you. We should talk", he said. Great, he was sounding as nervous as he felt. He heard her heart rate quicken and felt his hunger burn again. Typical. He should've fed before calling her. He probably should've gotten dressed as well he realised as he looked down and noticed he was still in his birthday suit.

"Talk? You mean…?" she sounded hesitant, as if not daring to believe his words. He relaxed a little. She still wanted him. She hadn't thought it over and changed her mind.

"Yes. I want us to talk. Really talk. Do you have time to meet with me today?" he asked, quickly. Before he could change his mind. Before he could talk himself out of it again.

"Do you have the time now?" she asked, her voice eager. He could almost see the happiness on her face as he listened to her. Quickly he checked the time. HE had about 3 hours before the meeting with his new client.

"Yes, I have some time now. Can I come over?" he asked and moved to his closet to pull out fresh clothes for the day. He heard her moving as well.

"Yes. When can you be here?" he smiled as he heard her moving things around, probably straightening the place out. He calculated the distance and decided it would be faster if he ran than if he took the car. He could jump over the roof tops and be there twice as fast as if he got the car out and drove over there through the traffic.

"In about 20 minutes", he said and heard her heart leap a little in response.

"I'll see you in 20 then", he nodded in reply then shook his head at himself. Of course she couldn't see the nod through the phone.

"Yes, I'll see you then", he said and then hung up. Never before had he gone through his morning ritual that fast. He skipped the shave though. She had once said in passing that she liked a little morning stubble on a man and he wanted every advantage he could have during this conversation.

Once dressed and ready he hurried down, grabbed his coat and keys and then out the door. Not taking the time to wait for the elevator he moved to the stairs and then jumped, landing seconds later at the bottom floor. He ran out the back door into the alley, climbed up the fire stairs to the roof and then started running at top speed. Jumping over rooftops all the way to her building. He stopped when he reached the rooftop of the building opposite hers with 5 minutes to spare.

He watched her building and saw her moving in her living room. Pacing. That made him smile a little. She was obviously as nervous as him about this. Somehow, that knowledge made it easier to take the last steps. He jumped down from the building and walked over to hers. Up with the elevator to her floor, down the corridor to her door and then raised his hand to knock.

_To be continued_


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: You recognise it then I probably don't own it. I'm just borrowing Mick and Beth…

Author note: This is the final part of the story Reflections, that originally was supposed to be a one shot piece LOL

Rated R just to be safe (basically, I'd rather rate it too high than too low)

Please leave comments, it's the only food my muses accept…

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He walked up the stairs, unable to wait the few moments it would take for the elevator to get there. As he reached her door he stopped, trying to compose himself. He listened to the sounds inside the door and almost smiled as he heard her pacing and the unusually fast drum of her heart. After just a brief moments hesitation he raised his hand and knocked on her door.

Beth stopped in mid-pace and turned to look at the door. After a deep breath to steady herself she walked over to open. _God, please let him talk to me. Let him really want to try._

"Mick", her voice was slightly breathless as she said his name. He smiled a bit hesitant at her. She looked stunning. He was constantly surprised at how beautiful she was, and how trusting. She knew what he was and yet, after that first shock had worn off, she had never truly feared him. Always accepted him for who he was in a way not even he had ever accepted himself.

"Beth", his voice sent shivers down her spine as always. No one had ever said her name quite the way Mick did.

"Come in", she said and stepped aside to allow him to walk past her. As he did, she couldn't help the glance over his back and quickly turned to close the door before he noticed. Her heart took a leap when she turned back again and found him looking at her with that little boyish smile of his.

"You wanted to talk?" she said and walked over to her couch, trying her very best to compose herself and get a grip on her nerves.

"Yes", he swallowed nervously and followed her. To her surprise he opted for a seat on the couch next to her instead of keeping his distance like every time before this.

"I've been thinking about what you said", he looked at her and then away. He was nervous. What if he had it wrong?

"What I said?" she prompted, trying to get him to talk and hoping this was what she wanted it to be about. What she was longing for.

He nodded and searched for words. He had never really been one for opening up about himself. Mouthing off or talking to his friends, or even comforting someone, was easier than talking about himself and his feelings. Always had been, and he feared it always would be.

"About me being afraid of getting hurt", he said and looked at her. She started to say something but he made a small gesture that stopped her and she sat just looking at him.

"Please Beth. Let me say this", he said, looking straight at her. She nodded and shifted so she was turned more fully against him, praying he was about to say the words the longed for. He swallowed and kept his eyes on her as he continued.

"I think you may be right. I am afraid. Coraline hurt me, made it difficult for me to trust myself, trust my instincts", he sighed and looked away. Beth almost held her breath as she waited for him to continue. It was the first time he'd ever opened up to her and she didn't want to risk him stopping now.

"I've hated what I am for a long time. Always been sure that others would see me as a monster as well", he looked up at her again.

"For some reason you don't. You haven't once shown any disgust or fear at what I am. You truly accept me as a vampire, don't you?" he looked at her closely, a pleading gleam in his eyes asking her to agree.

"Yes, Mick. You're one of the good guys, a truly decent man. The vampire is not all that you are, it's just a part of the whole that makes up who you are and who you are is a very special man. My guardian angel", she smiled at him, her voice filled with emotions.

He swallowed, not fully believing her yet but with her eyes shining at him, showing him the truth in her words, he was starting to understand. He reached out his hands to take hers, letting s thumb slowly caress the smooth skin on the back of her hand. He looked at her, meeting her eyes and letting his heart show in his gaze truly for the first time.

"I think I'm falling in love with you, Beth. And I want to try and make this work. If you'll have me that is?"

She stared at him. Stunned, shocked, ecstatic.

"Yes, Mick!" she gasped the reply and before she knew it she was in his arms. His lips hard against hers as he kissed her with passion. Her head began to spin. It was even better than the kiss on the roof top. It was as if he'd let a barrier and finally allowed her to truly feel him, feel his passion and his need.

She was gasping for air when he let her go. His arms was still around her, but gently now. Softly holding her against him. She placed her head against his shoulder, momentarily wondering when she'd ended up on his lap.

"What now?" she asked, her usual bravado forgotten in the after effects of the kiss. He slowly stroked her back, resting his cheek against her hair.

"We need to talk about some things. There are things you need to know about the vampire for this to work but we can take that as it comes. The main thing is… do you truly want this? Are you sure you want us to try?" he looked at her, trying to hide how nervous he was.

"Yes, Mick. I truly want this. I'm falling in love with you too", she said with a smile.

He kissed her deeply then. That was all that mattered. She wanted him. The rest they would solve as they faced it. He knew for sure now that he was fully invested in this. Whatever happened from now on, he was in it for the long term. For as long as she wanted him.

The end


End file.
